Why Sarah Palin Can't "Lose"

You've seen her on CNN and Fox. You've seen her on CBS with Katie Couric. You've even seen her on Saturday Night Live (the real one, not Tina Fey). So why in the wide world of sports do I believe that Sarah Palin can't lose?

It's simple. I'm not talking about the election in November; I'm talking about her career. What do I mean? Think about it.

Before Sarah Palin got the phone call from John “Maverick”, the Marquis de Goldwater, Palin was just the governor of a state that at times is disconnected from the Great 48, and is usually associated with frigid and brutally cold weather, moose with more rights than most children, glaciers the size of the national debt, national parks, and oil spills. Any political problems in Alaska State government were rarely reported outside the state; a pseudo-excommunicate to the rest of America. However, Ted Stevens is working very hard to change that perception. I'll talk about him in a little bit.

After the phone call, the first thing people said was "Who?" Until then Sarah Palin was best known to some as being the winner of the "Miss Governor USA" beauty pageant who won the talent competition by shooting a Bull Elk at 200 yards in high heels. But after speaking to the GOP in Minneapolis and St. Paul, Palin became the American Idol of the Republican Party who perceived Palin of having the potential to persuade undecided females, conservatives, and independents to vote for John McCain. Since then, Palin looked completely discombobulated talking to Katie Couric, more comfortable debating Joe Biden, and completely at ease appearing on the news skit on SNL.

If elected, Palin will become a global ambassador for the US; much in the same way LBJ was treated like a travel director, prior to President Kennedy's assassination. She will gain exposure to Capitol Hill and the Washington insiders, thereby gaining more “experience”. By 2012, she could obtain a political “All-Star” status for the GOP much like Senators Elizabeth Dole and Kay Bailey Hutchinson and Senator Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Party. By 2016, who knows? She may be the GOP frontrunner by then.

If Palin loses, she still has options. She will return to Alaska as the heroine of the "Land of the Midnight Sun." She can resume being Governor and would likely be a strong incumbent for the Alaska gubernatorial election in 2010. Now remember I said I would talk about Ted Stevens? Senator Stevens has gotten himself in quite a pickle these days fighting a federal indictment of lying on Senate financial disclosure forms about more than $250,000 in home renovations and other gifts from an oil pipeline magnate. If Stevens, 84, beats the rap and walks, as crazy as it sounds, he is still likely to win his reelection bid this year.

But not so fast my friends, if Stevens has a lick of sense, after his reelection he should step down within a year or two. Stevens has been in the US Senate since 1970 and he may be crooked, but he's no dummy. If Stevens resigns, guess who the Alaska GOP would want to the Alaska governor to appoint or at least run in the special election? You guessed it. A Palin appointment or win would maintain two Alaskan republicans on the Senate floor along with Senator Lisa Murkowski who would be up for reelection in 2010.

So you see, Palin can't "lose." She playing with house money so even if she loses, Palin wins. I would be quite surprised if Palin rides off into the sunset, never to be heard from again.

For all you football fans, I leave you with the following analogy:

Twelve days after September 11th, New England Patriots starting quarterback Drew Bledsoe suffered an injury in a game against the New York Jets. Who was Bledsoe's replacement but a young sixth round draft pick who greatest NFL achievement was completing just one pass in his rookie season for a mere six yards. Of course, the Patriots lost to the Jets. The replacement's next two games were shaky at best, but then something interesting happened. The replacement found his groove. The replacement QB won 11 of his 14 starts and rest they say is history. Who is this guy? Here's a hint?

"Here's a story, of a man named BRADY!"

In a few years, America might be singing

"Here's a story about SARAH PALIN?"